How Smear Campaigns Can Destroy Your Reputation
Women leaders are often fired or pushed out by lies and false accusations
Of the many forms of workplace abuse, the smear campaign is among the most insidious and potentially damaging.
I know because I experienced it myself.
Someone who pretended to be my friend engaged in a 2-year long smear campaign behind my back.
By the time I realized what was happening, it was too late. He succeeded. (And because I signed a legal agreement, I cannot share the details.)
I have spoken to numerous other women, especially founders, who have experienced smear campaigns as well. By becoming a leader, women have stepped out of our “proper place”. So, accusing us of bad behavior is a way to put us back down. In most cases, founders are being fired or pushed out so that others can take control of what they built. I know of several examples in the natural foods sector alone.
A smear campaign can happen to anybody at work, as my recent post on LinkedIn seems to indicate based on the comments. Smear campaigns often happen as a form of retaliation for speaking out about wrongdoing, but that’s not the focus on this article. Rather, I want to explain how it operates to take out a woman leader.
It’s important to understand the components of a smear campaign as a pattern and playbook because when you’re in the middle of experiencing it, it can all feel very devasting and isolating.
In my experience, there are at least 4 phases or components to a smear campaign.
Phase 1: Grooming
This is when the abuser is conning you into believing he’s your friend, or at least a supportive colleague. He will likely present himself as highly skilled at something you need help with, such as raising money or helping you grow your company. The goal at this stage is to earn your trust. All the while, he is learning more about you, especially your weaknesses, to be able to exploit them later. He will also use this phase to get close to those in decision-making authority, likely even through your own connections. The goal is to gain their trust as well, to set things up for phase 2.
Phase 2: Spreading Lies
This is when the liar begins to plant seeds behind your back to those in power. He will likely do so out of fake “concern” for the company or organization. Here is how another source explains this tactic, which they call a “set-up” smear campaign:
The troublemaker keeps hammering on this false or mostly false narrative, spreading it to as many different people as possible. They are putting the idea in people’s head, and might spend weeks or months doing this.
The lies are often based on your personality, which if you’re a woman, is likely to include sexist words such as “difficult” or “moody” or the dreaded, “does not play well with others”. Because these are subjective style interpretations that exploit most people’s sexist biases, it’s very easy to be convincing. (See my previous article on “How Sexism Helps a Narcissist’s Smear Campaign”.)
The worst part about this phase is that you have no idea it’s even happening. As far as you know, the liar is still on your side, all the while they’re building a case against you. It’s like you’re on trial but everyone involved “forgot” to tell you, so you cannot possibly defend yourself. And even if you knew about it, you are locked out of the courtroom.
Phase 3: The “Last Straw”
This is when the abuser cashes in all his chips. Some incident happens, which may or not be true, and it’s used as “proof” of what the liar has been saying about you all along. Here is how that other source explains it:
Eventually, a situation may blow up which could be seen to “prove” the smear campaign. You might have a (legitimate) argument with a colleague where you’re standing up for yourself. A customer might (unfairly) attack you…You get unfairly blamed and pathologized for the situation, even if the objective facts dictate that it actually isn’t your fault in this situation. It will often seem that facts have become irrelevant in the situation, and instead, your smeared reputation in the eyes of others is what is dominating how people see you.
At this point, it may become clear that the only option left is to leave, that is if you haven’t already been fired or asked to resign, which is a very real outcome for many founders / leaders. Either way, there is often a phase 4, when things get even uglier.
Phase 4: The Witch Hunt
Even after most of the damage is done, the abuser continues to double down and at this stage, but now the company’s board and/or lawyer gets involved. The scenario looks something like this:
Management has made a hasty decision to get rid of the founder, CEO, or other senior executive. Chaos ensues, because after all, they just completely destabilized the company or organization by suddenly removing its leader. In addition, the target may try to fight back, especially if it’s to save her own company.
Now management realizes they have botched things, so they must now justify their bad decision-making. Instead of trying to course-correct, management engages in a witch-hunt to “prove” they made the right decision. The original abuser is right there helping them dig up more dirt.
All kinds of crazy accusations can get made at this stage. Anything you do can be used against you. They will take a kernel of truth and blow it all out of proportion. Make a minor mistake? It becomes a federal offense. For example, twisting something you did innocently or with permission, which is then denied by the person in power who granted you permission. You could be accused of stealing company property or sharing trade secrets, or other unethical or even potentially illegal activity.
Lawyers may be brought in to conduct a sham “investigation”. Make no mistake, this is not an impartial investigation in the usual sense of the word. It’s rigged. The common thread is assuming that you’re acting with bad intent. No one bothers to simply ask you about the issue to clear up any misunderstanding. Because at this stage, they are not interested in your “side of the story”, they just want to play a game of “gotcha”!
The goals of the witch hunt include to:
Intimidate and scare you into backing down from fighting them.
Justify their hasty, incompetent, and cruel treatment of you.
Prove to other decision-makers who may still on the fence, or having second thoughts, that you really must go.
Stop these decision-makers from speaking with you as a human, to isolate you from anyone who might be helpful.
Mitigate their potential legal liability in a wrongful termination action.
Minimize any potential payout in severance or other settlement agreement.
All of this adds up to one singular goal: To weaken and destroy you. This can be extremely upsetting and destabilizing. I will write at greater length later about how to respond but the most important thing to do to save your sanity is to speak with friends and family members who know you well.
I will never forget speaking with a good friend (as I was being accused of something crazy) who said to me: “They really don’t know you very well.” That really pulled me through. No, they really did not know me at all. They chose not to.
Remember, this is not even about you. It’s about some fantasy world, unethical version of you. They have to pretend you’re an awful ogre to justify their bad treatment of you. They are not judging you, they are judging a made up version of you to suit their aims: to destroy you.
The only move left is to hire a good employment attorney and GTFO.
Here is how to work with me: https://www.michelersimon.com/coaching